As I took the liberty of soaking three paper towels with tears, the kinesiologist assured us that Joshua would soon be better and also informed us that his daily treatments would be free. He said that we were doing "a good thing" and that he wanted to help. A neighbor last night let us in on the decongestive secret of saline nasal spray - something that apparently everyone but us already knew about. And most importantly of all, we really love this kid. Despite not being able to breath and feeling lousy from the bronchitis, he's usually smiling. He loves to play and to be held. He's fascinated with his own hands, as if surprised that he can actually manipulate and control them and has taken to touching my face or playing with my hair while I feed him. I'm so thankful to finally have him home and realize now that it was none too soon. Before he arrived, he lived through a harrowing birth, two bouts of bronchitis, a hernia and surgery to fix the hernia. He may be little, but he's a fighter. And he really loves life. Despite being overwhelmed, I know things will get easier, but I'm a little curious as to just how many tears I'll shed during our lives together.
November 24, 2008
Oh man, is this hard. We haven't yet finished our first week as a happy family and we've already experienced a baby with bronchitis, a flu-ridden mommy and daddy taking care of the sick baby and a cut in electricity that was later found to be the verge of an electrical fire. Not to mention the givens of scarce sleep and no time to cook for ourselves, basing my survival on rice and coffee. I knew that bringing a baby into our home would change things, but I never realized how quickly it all happens. On Wednesday we were a couple and on Thursday we were parents. We took Joshua in to the doctor on Friday and were then sent to take x-rays, to the kinesiologist and to the pharmacy for a list of torturous remedies that cause no end of screaming. We've mumbled through the endless inhalers, temperature taking and antibiotic doses, but today, while watching the kinesiologist push on Joshua's chest, causing him to cry and flail, thus coughing and spitting up all the phlegm caught in his chest, I just lost it. I broke into tears right there in the doctor's office and couldn't be consoled. All the emotion of these four short yet life-changing days came crashing down on me. Like most cries, it served its purpose and I feel a lot better now.